Posts
In the past month or so, I have managed to pull a couple of all-nighters. Not such a big deal when I was younger, but I'm not really able to do this crap much these days. The funny part about them was the similarities.
Night one: A friend from high school was coming in town for Thanksgiving so a group of us decided to get together at a bar downtown called Veet's. We had a great time catching up and telling old war stories from high school - well, I listened to old war stories, I was a good kid who never did anything (meaning: My mother taught at my high school and so I couldn't get away with anything if I wanted to). We talked, we drank , we sang... ok so we didn't sing but we did talk and drink, until those in our group with children decided it was time to depart. By this time I had gotten a message from the wife of another high school friend that she and some others where on their way to Chantilly's, another club not downtown. So, those who didn't go home went to the next bar. We got there, I danced my friends laughed, I didn't see them laugh but I'm sure they did, then they left. And I finished the night with three woman, one married to a friend from school, one dating a friend from school (not the same friend) and one just a friend of the group. We drank some more, I was the designated "husband" or "boyfriend" as needed to scare off the annoying predators trying to hook up with my friends till we ventured out to Denny's for breakfast. We had a great time talking and joking over breakfast food and coffee with the exception of my friends wife (by the way I should note here that she has become one of my very best friends) brought up my ex girlfriend... somewhat the buzz kill. Then home to crawl into bed at about 5AM.
*WHEW*
Night two: This past weekend we decided to have another get together at Veet's with more friends coming home for the holidays. We had a great time exchanging old war... ok I won't go into that part again. We drank, we talked - still no singing. Till we pretty much closed the bar down. At which point, I moved on to Chantilly's having gotten a message from a couple of friends that they where on the way there. Not the same group of friends this time. I went alone this time as everyone else was acting their age, and met up with two girls and one guy I went to school with. Funny note here - the guy was the missing boyfriend (now ex) from the previous all-nighter. I WAS going to be good but they forced me to drink more and by that I mean they handed me the drinks... didn't take much to twist my arm. We drank and talked and laughed. I did not dance this time. Then we headed out to Waffle House and ended up at Denny's, in the same booth I had been in about a month before. We had a great time joking, laughing and talking over various breakfast foods and coffee until... wait for it... one of the girls brought up my ex girlfriend. This time though we had the additional buzz kill of dealing my buddy's ex girlfriend and while neither night really went down hill on these topics they where not the best way to end a night. We finished eating and headed out into the morning. Again I was in bed around 5AM.
I AM GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SH... but it is way too much fun to not let it happen again.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year... YEAH RIGHT!!!
Let me start by saying I do love Christmas. Allow me to add, I hate it too. I love the reason for Christmas, celebrating the birth of Christ. I used to love the family get together - to an extent. But then, the family get together is also why I hate it.
Christmas comes down hard on the single person unless they are not interested in being anything but single. Commercials, at this time of year, are all geared towards family and couples and can be especially depressing when you are alone. I get tired of hearing "Every kiss begins with Kay..." Kiss my A@#. Oh, and I really don't care that he went to Jarod's.
Getting together with the family used to be the one boon at Christmas, until my parents started going down to Miami to spend Christmas with my middle brother and his family. I understand why they do. But it tends to leave me to having lunch with my oldest brother and his family, when they remember to tell me when it will be. That sounded bad... I love my brothers but you may have noticed a little theme here - My brothers and their families. UGH, me single them married. Which is why I also hate the family get together.
And so another Christmas is upon us, with it's commercials written to rip the heart out of the single people of the world, family get togethers - maybe but, on the bright side, we have all the lights and television specials. But most of all we have the birth of Jesus.
So I love it and I hate it all at the same time... just get me through another one please!
Christmas comes down hard on the single person unless they are not interested in being anything but single. Commercials, at this time of year, are all geared towards family and couples and can be especially depressing when you are alone. I get tired of hearing "Every kiss begins with Kay..." Kiss my A@#. Oh, and I really don't care that he went to Jarod's.
Getting together with the family used to be the one boon at Christmas, until my parents started going down to Miami to spend Christmas with my middle brother and his family. I understand why they do. But it tends to leave me to having lunch with my oldest brother and his family, when they remember to tell me when it will be. That sounded bad... I love my brothers but you may have noticed a little theme here - My brothers and their families. UGH, me single them married. Which is why I also hate the family get together.
And so another Christmas is upon us, with it's commercials written to rip the heart out of the single people of the world, family get togethers - maybe but, on the bright side, we have all the lights and television specials. But most of all we have the birth of Jesus.
So I love it and I hate it all at the same time... just get me through another one please!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Thought
An epiphany, if you will, no great man or woman was ever thought such without some greater purpose. That isn't to say they needed to strive for world peace or needed to cure an epidemic, it is just the desire to be a part of something greater than themselves.
Where this comes from is in response to someone saying, "Until you love and accept you just exactly as you are right now...no woman will be able to do it either." I will try to make this the only bit about myself. I know who I am. I am and I am know I am not perfect, but I am wiling to be better to be a part of something. I love myself but I lack confidence based on my own life experiences. There was a time this didn't come through but I know it does now. I try.
But I don't believe loving yourself is enough. I know too many people who love themselves and are not happy. Men and women alike strive to be a part of something greater. It may be in politics, teaching, religion, science or entertainment, but it is that drive to be a part of something greater that truly makes someone happy. The happiest people I know are the ones who love their families more than themselves and see the achievements of their family as their greatest offering to the world. When a person is not able to achieve something greater than just loving themselves then they are not satisfied.
To be a part of something grater than oneself is an achievement. A person who helps build a family is just as much a success and is just as happy as the person who finds a cure for some fatal disease.
Where this comes from is in response to someone saying, "Until you love and accept you just exactly as you are right now...no woman will be able to do it either." I will try to make this the only bit about myself. I know who I am. I am and I am know I am not perfect, but I am wiling to be better to be a part of something. I love myself but I lack confidence based on my own life experiences. There was a time this didn't come through but I know it does now. I try.
But I don't believe loving yourself is enough. I know too many people who love themselves and are not happy. Men and women alike strive to be a part of something greater. It may be in politics, teaching, religion, science or entertainment, but it is that drive to be a part of something greater that truly makes someone happy. The happiest people I know are the ones who love their families more than themselves and see the achievements of their family as their greatest offering to the world. When a person is not able to achieve something greater than just loving themselves then they are not satisfied.
To be a part of something grater than oneself is an achievement. A person who helps build a family is just as much a success and is just as happy as the person who finds a cure for some fatal disease.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Just Bragging
Several years ago I went to the doctor because my sinuses where in full rebellion. I hadn't been to the doctor's office in so long that I didn't even have a regular doctor so I had to pick one. When I got there they went through the usual routine of getting my weight, temperature and blood pressure before the doctor came in to see what was wrong with me. The short examination revealed sinusitis and I was given a Z-Pack to clear it up. At the time the doctor expressed some concern about my blood pressure but let it slide due to the sinus infection.
Unfortunately the Z-Pack wasn't enough and I had to go back. This time the doc didn't let the elevated BP reading slide and had me go for a blood test. The results where not good. The one number that stuck out was my Triglycerides: 577. I was sent to a cardiologist who put me on cholesterol, blood sugar and blood pressure meds as well as a diet. She told me I would be on these meds for life... NOT ME! I took it as a personal challenge to prove her wrong and as of 2007 I have been off all of those meds with the doctors blessings. What did it? I went from 234lbs to 166lbs (106kg to 75kg). YEAH ME!!!!!! Just felt like bragging.
SIDE NOTE: I went to the doctor for a sinus illness and left with Hypertension and Diabetes. I knew there was a reason to stay away from the doctor's office. They are only practicing you know.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Dreaded Question
Short one folks.
Last night I went to my grandmothers to have diner. Grandmothers little sisters and brother where in town so we all went to her place to eat. I was sitting on the couch when my mother commented that she had wonderful daughter-in-laws, my brothers wives, and my great-aunt put her hand on my knee and asked "So when are you getting married?"
I hate this question! I couldn't even look at her and didn't say a word. It is a sore point with me that at 40 I am still single but I would rather be single than with the wrong person. Not that being single is all that great. I look at it as the lesser of two evils.
That is all folks. Thank you for tuning in and I hope to be more entertaining soon!
Last night I went to my grandmothers to have diner. Grandmothers little sisters and brother where in town so we all went to her place to eat. I was sitting on the couch when my mother commented that she had wonderful daughter-in-laws, my brothers wives, and my great-aunt put her hand on my knee and asked "So when are you getting married?"
I hate this question! I couldn't even look at her and didn't say a word. It is a sore point with me that at 40 I am still single but I would rather be single than with the wrong person. Not that being single is all that great. I look at it as the lesser of two evils.
That is all folks. Thank you for tuning in and I hope to be more entertaining soon!
Friday, November 13, 2009
How Computers Work
When I first began working in technical support for the company I currently work for I developed a theory for how computers work. This theory was not based in reality but was more a way for me to set my clients at ease and to lighten their mood. It goes something like this:
Most people think computers are a technical marvel full of silicon and chips that, when programmed right, will do whatever computations we need. In reality computers aren't run by logic but by a group of gremlins who have taken up residents in the box. These gremlins usually will obey the commands sent from external devices such the keyboard or mouse, though they have been known to put their own little twist on things.
Now keep in mind, these gremlins don't want to loose their home so they try not to mess things up too much but every now and again they do like to go out for a smoke break. They don't like to advertise that they are doing this but they do need to let you know they aren't available at the moment and so you get various cryptic error messages letting you know to do something else while they are out. Sometimes they have been know to forget to put up a message and your computer just "locks-up." But, when they know they are going to be out for a while they have a special screen. We Call it the "BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH." On some very rare occasions you may have noticed smoke or a burning smell coming from inside your computer, this happens when the gremlins forget to go outside before lighting up their cigarettes.
Hope that explains things for you!
Most people think computers are a technical marvel full of silicon and chips that, when programmed right, will do whatever computations we need. In reality computers aren't run by logic but by a group of gremlins who have taken up residents in the box. These gremlins usually will obey the commands sent from external devices such the keyboard or mouse, though they have been known to put their own little twist on things.
Now keep in mind, these gremlins don't want to loose their home so they try not to mess things up too much but every now and again they do like to go out for a smoke break. They don't like to advertise that they are doing this but they do need to let you know they aren't available at the moment and so you get various cryptic error messages letting you know to do something else while they are out. Sometimes they have been know to forget to put up a message and your computer just "locks-up." But, when they know they are going to be out for a while they have a special screen. We Call it the "BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH." On some very rare occasions you may have noticed smoke or a burning smell coming from inside your computer, this happens when the gremlins forget to go outside before lighting up their cigarettes.
Hope that explains things for you!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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Friday, November 6, 2009
A small encounter...
I am hoping to have pictures up from Halloween soon but till then I have a brief encounter to share.
Tuesday night I went out to sing karaoke. Nothing big there, I do that almost every Tuesday night. After singing my last song I walked up to the bar and a very attractive young woman told me I was sexy and she loved hearing me sing. I was flattered, until... her fiance looked at her and said, "You've never said that to me." Then he turned to me and said, "She's never told me I was sexy and we're getting married in April."
So now I'm left trying to make this guy feel better about the whole thing by pointing out that he is going home with her and I am going home alone and all that BS.
So much for being flattered - now I'm annoyed. I would chalk it up to her being drunk. I've not had really anyone just walk up and say I was sexy, but that whole thing was just wrong. I cannot believe a girl would say anything like that in front of the guy you are with unless she wasn't really "with" him, meaning the guy she is with is either her brother or gay!
Tuesday night I went out to sing karaoke. Nothing big there, I do that almost every Tuesday night. After singing my last song I walked up to the bar and a very attractive young woman told me I was sexy and she loved hearing me sing. I was flattered, until... her fiance looked at her and said, "You've never said that to me." Then he turned to me and said, "She's never told me I was sexy and we're getting married in April."
So now I'm left trying to make this guy feel better about the whole thing by pointing out that he is going home with her and I am going home alone and all that BS.
So much for being flattered - now I'm annoyed. I would chalk it up to her being drunk. I've not had really anyone just walk up and say I was sexy, but that whole thing was just wrong. I cannot believe a girl would say anything like that in front of the guy you are with unless she wasn't really "with" him, meaning the guy she is with is either her brother or gay!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Fortune Cookie Follies
As if fortune cookies weren't ridiculous enough, I have managed to get some that just make you go "HUH?"
I have had friends tell me about getting blank fortunes and I think we all have gotten the vague and ambiguous fortunes but some are just not right. I had thought about posting this yesterday but couldn't remember the particular "fortune" word-for-word, so I waited. I waited because, even though they are... well, stupid... I collect them, so I knew I had the one I wanted to quote at home.
I searched through the stack at home and stuffed the little paper maxim in my wallet to write about today. I got to work and promptly forgot about the post. That is until lunch when my fortune cookie produced the same fortune I had searched for and stored in my wallet. So now I have it in stereo. So without further ado, here is my first installment of FORTUNE COOKIE FOLLIES:
Behind an able man, there are always.
That has been my fortune at least three times now.
I have had friends tell me about getting blank fortunes and I think we all have gotten the vague and ambiguous fortunes but some are just not right. I had thought about posting this yesterday but couldn't remember the particular "fortune" word-for-word, so I waited. I waited because, even though they are... well, stupid... I collect them, so I knew I had the one I wanted to quote at home.
I searched through the stack at home and stuffed the little paper maxim in my wallet to write about today. I got to work and promptly forgot about the post. That is until lunch when my fortune cookie produced the same fortune I had searched for and stored in my wallet. So now I have it in stereo. So without further ado, here is my first installment of FORTUNE COOKIE FOLLIES:
That has been my fortune at least three times now.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Some quickly written attemtps at poetry
I used to be good at this....
1st
Love is an Ideal...
To reason Love out is impossible...
To define Love is to limit Love...
To quote about Love can be heresy...
To live for Love is to invite pain - and joy...
To seek Love is Quixotic...
To run from Love is tragedy...
To laugh at Love is comedy...
To play with Love is cruelty...
To part with Love is to part with hope...
But...
To strive for Love is divine...
And...
To fall for Love is faith.
2nd
Decades could come an go,
Oceans, even worlds, could separate us.
Nothing would make me stop loving you!
No! You have captured my heart,
And made me your prisoner.
But when you are gone I am lost, listless and
Everything losses it's taste and texture.
So, please don't be upset when I try to
Tell you, as often as I can, I LOVE YOU!
3rd
Your Eyes
Eyes of brightest blue called
Me into your waiting arms.
Eyes so warm, I watched as we
Kissed, gazing, locked in bliss.
4th
Love hates me, though I know not why.
I have been willing to heed its' commands,
Fall under its' spell and trust in it,
And yet it delights in cutting me down.
Love hates me, though I believe in it.
I do not doubt that true love exists,
I do not doubt that true love can
Find someone and bless their life.
I do doubt that it has plans for me.
Love hates me, so why do I try?
I try because I believe in love.
I try because I see it all around
Me, making lonely singles happy couples.
I try because I love!
5th
There is no empty room in my heart
For me to go to and be alone.
You have occupied every space and part.
I just wish you would call it home.
6th
I wish that I could find the words
To say what is on my heart without
My mind getting in the way.
I would tell you of my love and
My need to be with you. I would
Tell you of the loss I feel whenever
You're not near. I find it hard
To breath and eat whenever you
Are gone.
And yet my mind stops me for fear
Of scaring you too much. I pray I
Will not be the cause
Of any confusion in your life.
...Maybe not so good anymore
1st
Love is an Ideal...
To reason Love out is impossible...
To define Love is to limit Love...
To quote about Love can be heresy...
To live for Love is to invite pain - and joy...
To seek Love is Quixotic...
To run from Love is tragedy...
To laugh at Love is comedy...
To play with Love is cruelty...
To part with Love is to part with hope...
But...
To strive for Love is divine...
And...
To fall for Love is faith.
2nd
Decades could come an go,
Oceans, even worlds, could separate us.
Nothing would make me stop loving you!
No! You have captured my heart,
And made me your prisoner.
But when you are gone I am lost, listless and
Everything losses it's taste and texture.
So, please don't be upset when I try to
Tell you, as often as I can, I LOVE YOU!
3rd
Your Eyes
Eyes of brightest blue called
Me into your waiting arms.
Eyes so warm, I watched as we
Kissed, gazing, locked in bliss.
4th
Love hates me, though I know not why.
I have been willing to heed its' commands,
Fall under its' spell and trust in it,
And yet it delights in cutting me down.
Love hates me, though I believe in it.
I do not doubt that true love exists,
I do not doubt that true love can
Find someone and bless their life.
I do doubt that it has plans for me.
Love hates me, so why do I try?
I try because I believe in love.
I try because I see it all around
Me, making lonely singles happy couples.
I try because I love!
5th
There is no empty room in my heart
For me to go to and be alone.
You have occupied every space and part.
I just wish you would call it home.
6th
I wish that I could find the words
To say what is on my heart without
My mind getting in the way.
I would tell you of my love and
My need to be with you. I would
Tell you of the loss I feel whenever
You're not near. I find it hard
To breath and eat whenever you
Are gone.
And yet my mind stops me for fear
Of scaring you too much. I pray I
Will not be the cause
Of any confusion in your life.
...Maybe not so good anymore
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Fariy Tale - With Ending
I asked your opinion for an ending type (Happy or realistic) and so I will complete the tale...
Once upon a time (you know all fairy tales happened once upon a time - no specific time though), in a land far, far away (again they never seem to be local) there lived an ordinary average guy (don't worry there will be a princess and a prince charming or two). Now this ordinary average guy worked hard, paid his bills and obeyed the laws like so many other ordinary average guys in the land but things never seemed to work out for him. You see Karma seemed to get things backwards for him. When he did something good Karma punished him, if he did something bad, well Karma punished him for that too. I guess Karma wasn't getting things backwards. Karma just didn't like him.
One day, after our ordinary average guy helped an old lady up from a fall, Karma decided it was time to cut through all the red tape and turned him into a frog. The only thing our ordinary average guy could say about it all was that he was no longer an ordinary average guy; he was an unusual talking frog. But now he couldn't work or pay his bills. Thank goodness the sheriff didn't feel like arresting a frog.
One fine day, a beautiful princess wandered by and saw the frog sitting at the edge of the pond and asked him, "Are you a prince, turned into a frog by a wicked witch?" Apparently this was a common practice a long time ago, in a land far far away.
He replied, "No, your Highness. I am just an ordinary average guy turned into an unusual talking frog."
"To bad." She said. "I would have kissed you and changed you back and we could live happily ever after."
"Oh, please!" The Frog cried. "If you kiss me and change me back I will serve you forever and do anything you ask."
She shook her head and said, "No, I am looking for a prince." And with that she walked to the other end of the pond where a real prince turned frog lived. She kissed him and went off to live happily ever after.
Now our poor, ordinary... ooops, unusual talking frog lived for many years at the edge of the pond and thought a lot about his life before and about the princess. You see, she hadn't always been a princess. In fact he had gone to school with her when they where young and he had fallen for her when he saw her again. But he knew there wasn't a chance as she had married a handsome prince many years before... and lived happily for a few years before he grew bored and went in search of a new princess. Whenever he thought of her and his life before he would sigh/croak.
One day, as he sat thinking and sighing/croaking, he heard his princess crying nearby. He hopped over to her and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
She jumped, forgetting about the "other" frog that lived by the pond. "Oh," She said, "It is you. Well, if you must know, my frog prince left me for some Mermaid slut who happened to wash up on shore. I found Prince Charming, last year, and thought I had finally found my happily ever after. But he went out in the woods the other day and came back with some lady he found asleep in a glass casket. So now I am all alone again and all the good princes are taken."
"I'm sorry to hear that." The frog replied - and he really meant it. "I wish there was something I could do for you."
"I'm sorry too, but you where just an ordinary average guy, not a prince, so I don't see what you could do."
"I can be loyal." Said the frog.
"But the jewels, the balls, the fancy dresses..."
"I may not be able to give you the finest jewels, but you can have my heart, I may not throw glamorous balls, but we can celebrate life with close friends and family and though I may not be able to buy you the newest fashion, I will be sure you have the best I can give you and you will want for nothing you need in life."
The Princess thought hard about it and leaned over and kissed the unusual talking frog who immediately transformed back into the ordinary average guy. They moved back to the village and lived (Truly) Happily Ever After.
Not all princes born have the soul of a prince. Sometimes, a knight in shining armor is just an ordinary average guy who has the heart of a prince in the body of a pauper.
I did make one slight but, to me, glaring error in the story (a missing word). This story was written without forethought (even the ending) with the first line being the only line I thought of before I started writing. I even went so far as avoiding writing any ending I was thinking if while I waited for responses.
I appreciate everyone's comments. One day I may re-write this with a bit more detail and with more attention to the different comments left.
I hope you like the ending...
Once upon a time (you know all fairy tales happened once upon a time - no specific time though), in a land far, far away (again they never seem to be local) there lived an ordinary average guy (don't worry there will be a princess and a prince charming or two). Now this ordinary average guy worked hard, paid his bills and obeyed the laws like so many other ordinary average guys in the land but things never seemed to work out for him. You see Karma seemed to get things backwards for him. When he did something good Karma punished him, if he did something bad, well Karma punished him for that too. I guess Karma wasn't getting things backwards. Karma just didn't like him.
One day, after our ordinary average guy helped an old lady up from a fall, Karma decided it was time to cut through all the red tape and turned him into a frog. The only thing our ordinary average guy could say about it all was that he was no longer an ordinary average guy; he was an unusual talking frog. But now he couldn't work or pay his bills. Thank goodness the sheriff didn't feel like arresting a frog.
One fine day, a beautiful princess wandered by and saw the frog sitting at the edge of the pond and asked him, "Are you a prince, turned into a frog by a wicked witch?" Apparently this was a common practice a long time ago, in a land far far away.
He replied, "No, your Highness. I am just an ordinary average guy turned into an unusual talking frog."
"To bad." She said. "I would have kissed you and changed you back and we could live happily ever after."
"Oh, please!" The Frog cried. "If you kiss me and change me back I will serve you forever and do anything you ask."
She shook her head and said, "No, I am looking for a prince." And with that she walked to the other end of the pond where a real prince turned frog lived. She kissed him and went off to live happily ever after.
Now our poor, ordinary... ooops, unusual talking frog lived for many years at the edge of the pond and thought a lot about his life before and about the princess. You see, she hadn't always been a princess. In fact he had gone to school with her when they where young and he had fallen for her when he saw her again. But he knew there wasn't a chance as she had married a handsome prince many years before... and lived happily for a few years before he grew bored and went in search of a new princess. Whenever he thought of her and his life before he would sigh/croak.
One day, as he sat thinking and sighing/croaking, he heard his princess crying nearby. He hopped over to her and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
She jumped, forgetting about the "other" frog that lived by the pond. "Oh," She said, "It is you. Well, if you must know, my frog prince left me for some Mermaid slut who happened to wash up on shore. I found Prince Charming, last year, and thought I had finally found my happily ever after. But he went out in the woods the other day and came back with some lady he found asleep in a glass casket. So now I am all alone again and all the good princes are taken."
"I'm sorry to hear that." The frog replied - and he really meant it. "I wish there was something I could do for you."
"I'm sorry too, but you where just an ordinary average guy, not a prince, so I don't see what you could do."
"I can be loyal." Said the frog.
"But the jewels, the balls, the fancy dresses..."
"I may not be able to give you the finest jewels, but you can have my heart, I may not throw glamorous balls, but we can celebrate life with close friends and family and though I may not be able to buy you the newest fashion, I will be sure you have the best I can give you and you will want for nothing you need in life."
The Princess thought hard about it and leaned over and kissed the unusual talking frog who immediately transformed back into the ordinary average guy. They moved back to the village and lived (Truly) Happily Ever After.
Not all princes born have the soul of a prince. Sometimes, a knight in shining armor is just an ordinary average guy who has the heart of a prince in the body of a pauper.
I did make one slight but, to me, glaring error in the story (a missing word). This story was written without forethought (even the ending) with the first line being the only line I thought of before I started writing. I even went so far as avoiding writing any ending I was thinking if while I waited for responses.
I appreciate everyone's comments. One day I may re-write this with a bit more detail and with more attention to the different comments left.
I hope you like the ending...
Monday, October 19, 2009
Fairy Tale (without an ending)
I feel like I need to post something, but just don't have anything that is jumping out at right now. SO, I think I'll try my hand at telling a fairytale.
Once upon a time (you know all fairy tales happened once upon a time - no specific time though), in a land far, far away (again they never seem to be local) there lived an ordinary average guy (don't worry there will be a princess and a prince charming or two). Now this ordinary average worked hard, paid his bills and obeyed the laws like so many other ordinary average guys in the land but things never seemed to work out for him. You see Karma seemed to get things backwards for him. When he did something good Karma punished him, if he did something bad, well Karma punished him for that too. I guess Karma wasn't getting things backwards. Karma just didn't like him.
One day, after our ordinary average guy helped an old lady up from a fall, Karma decided it was time to cut through all the red tape and turned him into a frog. The only thing our ordinary average guy could say about it all was that he was no longer an ordinary average guy; he was an unusual talking frog. But now he couldn't work or pay his bills. Thank goodness the sheriff didn't feel like arresting a frog.
One fine day, a beautiful princess wandered by and saw the frog sitting at the edge of the pond and asked him, "Are you a prince, turned into a frog by a wicked witch?" Apparently this was a common practice a long time ago, in a land far far away.
He replied, "No, your Highness. I am just an ordinary average guy turned into an unusual talking frog."
"To bad." She said. "I would have kissed you and changed you back and we could live happily ever after."
"Oh, please!" The Frog cried. "If you kiss me and change me back I will serve you forever and do anything you ask."
She shook her head and said, "No, I am looking for a prince." And with that she walked to the other end of the pond where a real prince turned frog lived. She kissed him and went off to live happily ever after.
Now our poor, ordinary... ooops, unusual talking frog lived for many years at the edge of the pond and thought a lot about his life before and about the princess. You see, she hadn't always been a princess. In fact he had gone to school with her when they where young and he had fallen for her when he saw her again. But he knew there wasn't a chance as she had married a handsome prince many years before... and lived happily for a few years before he grew bored and went in search of a new princess. Whenever he thought of her and his life before he would sigh/croak.
One day, as he sat thinking and sighing/croaking, he heard his princess crying nearby. He hopped over to her and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
She jumped, forgetting about the "other" frog that lived by the pond. "Oh," She said, "It is you. Well, if you must know, my frog prince left me for some Mermaid slut who happened to wash up on shore. I found Prince Charming, last year, and thought I had finally found my happily ever after. But he went out in the woods the other day and came back with some lady he found asleep in a glass casket. So now I am all alone again and all the good princes are taken."
"I'm sorry to hear that." The frog replied - and he really meant it. "I wish there was something I could do for you."
"I'm sorry too, but you where just an ordinary average guy, not a prince, so I don't see what you could do."
****I have been thinking of endings here and want your opinion: Do we go for the traditional/semi-traditional happy ending or do we want our fairy tale to be a little realistic???
Tell me what you think and I will finish it.
Once upon a time (you know all fairy tales happened once upon a time - no specific time though), in a land far, far away (again they never seem to be local) there lived an ordinary average guy (don't worry there will be a princess and a prince charming or two). Now this ordinary average worked hard, paid his bills and obeyed the laws like so many other ordinary average guys in the land but things never seemed to work out for him. You see Karma seemed to get things backwards for him. When he did something good Karma punished him, if he did something bad, well Karma punished him for that too. I guess Karma wasn't getting things backwards. Karma just didn't like him.
One day, after our ordinary average guy helped an old lady up from a fall, Karma decided it was time to cut through all the red tape and turned him into a frog. The only thing our ordinary average guy could say about it all was that he was no longer an ordinary average guy; he was an unusual talking frog. But now he couldn't work or pay his bills. Thank goodness the sheriff didn't feel like arresting a frog.
One fine day, a beautiful princess wandered by and saw the frog sitting at the edge of the pond and asked him, "Are you a prince, turned into a frog by a wicked witch?" Apparently this was a common practice a long time ago, in a land far far away.
He replied, "No, your Highness. I am just an ordinary average guy turned into an unusual talking frog."
"To bad." She said. "I would have kissed you and changed you back and we could live happily ever after."
"Oh, please!" The Frog cried. "If you kiss me and change me back I will serve you forever and do anything you ask."
She shook her head and said, "No, I am looking for a prince." And with that she walked to the other end of the pond where a real prince turned frog lived. She kissed him and went off to live happily ever after.
Now our poor, ordinary... ooops, unusual talking frog lived for many years at the edge of the pond and thought a lot about his life before and about the princess. You see, she hadn't always been a princess. In fact he had gone to school with her when they where young and he had fallen for her when he saw her again. But he knew there wasn't a chance as she had married a handsome prince many years before... and lived happily for a few years before he grew bored and went in search of a new princess. Whenever he thought of her and his life before he would sigh/croak.
One day, as he sat thinking and sighing/croaking, he heard his princess crying nearby. He hopped over to her and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
She jumped, forgetting about the "other" frog that lived by the pond. "Oh," She said, "It is you. Well, if you must know, my frog prince left me for some Mermaid slut who happened to wash up on shore. I found Prince Charming, last year, and thought I had finally found my happily ever after. But he went out in the woods the other day and came back with some lady he found asleep in a glass casket. So now I am all alone again and all the good princes are taken."
"I'm sorry to hear that." The frog replied - and he really meant it. "I wish there was something I could do for you."
"I'm sorry too, but you where just an ordinary average guy, not a prince, so I don't see what you could do."
****I have been thinking of endings here and want your opinion: Do we go for the traditional/semi-traditional happy ending or do we want our fairy tale to be a little realistic???
Tell me what you think and I will finish it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Rescue Me!
A little rant:
There are some people out there who just should not be allowed in public. You know them, the ones who interject themselves into any and all conversation around them - public or private - the ones who stand too close to you when you didn't invite them near you to begin with, the ones whose, getting back to the conversation remark, interjections have nothing or next to nothing to do with the conversation they have chosen to invade and, on top of all this, the ones who give you the heebie-jeebies with their presence alone.
There is currently one such person hanging out now at the coffee shop near my apartment and he has parked himself on my last nerve. I can't bring myself to say anything to him - I guess I really am too nice - but my friends are getting great pleasure watching my reaction when he butts into a conversation or gets too close. I can't even bring myself to look in his direction for fear it might encourage him to suck more of my soul out. I might excuse, even pity, some of his obvious social short-comings if he could recognize the reactions and non-verbal signs of those around him but he just barrels on, and on, and on, and on....
Did I mention, he really creeps me out!?!
There are some people out there who just should not be allowed in public. You know them, the ones who interject themselves into any and all conversation around them - public or private - the ones who stand too close to you when you didn't invite them near you to begin with, the ones whose, getting back to the conversation remark, interjections have nothing or next to nothing to do with the conversation they have chosen to invade and, on top of all this, the ones who give you the heebie-jeebies with their presence alone.
There is currently one such person hanging out now at the coffee shop near my apartment and he has parked himself on my last nerve. I can't bring myself to say anything to him - I guess I really am too nice - but my friends are getting great pleasure watching my reaction when he butts into a conversation or gets too close. I can't even bring myself to look in his direction for fear it might encourage him to suck more of my soul out. I might excuse, even pity, some of his obvious social short-comings if he could recognize the reactions and non-verbal signs of those around him but he just barrels on, and on, and on, and on....
Did I mention, he really creeps me out!?!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I Never Heard That One Before
I've been trying to find a cute humorous way of posting a couple of comments I got this weekend. I give up. I will just lay out the situations and let the words fly where they will...
So, Friday night after going to a haunted house with some friends, I decided to head out to a local dance club. After walking around for a bit I noticed this woman kept looking at me. Now there isn't anything wrong with that - kinda flattering to tell you the truth. But, when I walked up to talk to her, she actually asked me "What's a guy like you doing here?" WHAT? It's a bar on Friday night that plays decent music. Well, after I tried to explain why she wasn't convinced. She really didn't get the music part. She, apparently, is a die hard country music fan and was in a dance club - I should have asked what she was doing there. Anyway, I tried to convince her they would play about anything and to prove it I requested the DJ play a country song (I asked for George Jones, but he didn't have any). As requested, a slow country song played and this girl brightened up. Her friends went to dance. And I approached and asked if she wanted to dance... now, I have rambled on to get to what she said here. She said, "No thank you, you're too nice a guy for me." OK?!?
Now we move on to Saturday night. As I was putting on my shoes to head out to a local Martini bar, one of my ex-girlfriends called to see what I was up to. I told her where I was heading and apparently she and some friends where heading that way to. I met up with them at O'Charley's while they finished dinner and we went to the bar as a group. Now I may do a post later on the weirdness of Saturday night itself but for now I will flash forward to a conversation some hours later between me and the ex. Let me say first that I know things would never have worked out between us. The more I have dealt with her over the past couple of years since the break up the more I have realized I must have been suffering from temporary insanity when I started dating her. Good friend but not compatible in the least. Her take on it was a bit more interesting given the previous nights events though. She told me it never would have worked out because "You are too nice a guy." No kidding - her exact words.
There are so many snippets of things I could say but they just won't form into complete thoughts. Those words keep repeating in my head "You are too nice a guy" and all I can do is smirk and chuckle and wonder...
So, Friday night after going to a haunted house with some friends, I decided to head out to a local dance club. After walking around for a bit I noticed this woman kept looking at me. Now there isn't anything wrong with that - kinda flattering to tell you the truth. But, when I walked up to talk to her, she actually asked me "What's a guy like you doing here?" WHAT? It's a bar on Friday night that plays decent music. Well, after I tried to explain why she wasn't convinced. She really didn't get the music part. She, apparently, is a die hard country music fan and was in a dance club - I should have asked what she was doing there. Anyway, I tried to convince her they would play about anything and to prove it I requested the DJ play a country song (I asked for George Jones, but he didn't have any). As requested, a slow country song played and this girl brightened up. Her friends went to dance. And I approached and asked if she wanted to dance... now, I have rambled on to get to what she said here. She said, "No thank you, you're too nice a guy for me." OK?!?
Now we move on to Saturday night. As I was putting on my shoes to head out to a local Martini bar, one of my ex-girlfriends called to see what I was up to. I told her where I was heading and apparently she and some friends where heading that way to. I met up with them at O'Charley's while they finished dinner and we went to the bar as a group. Now I may do a post later on the weirdness of Saturday night itself but for now I will flash forward to a conversation some hours later between me and the ex. Let me say first that I know things would never have worked out between us. The more I have dealt with her over the past couple of years since the break up the more I have realized I must have been suffering from temporary insanity when I started dating her. Good friend but not compatible in the least. Her take on it was a bit more interesting given the previous nights events though. She told me it never would have worked out because "You are too nice a guy." No kidding - her exact words.
There are so many snippets of things I could say but they just won't form into complete thoughts. Those words keep repeating in my head "You are too nice a guy" and all I can do is smirk and chuckle and wonder...
Monday, October 12, 2009
A look back to the beginning...
I have been re-reading comments and posts recently had have been appalled at some of my screw ups. So I ask that anyone who is new to my blog please read my first post and note that I am not editing myself, unless, I catch it while I am typing. I am writing and moving on to the next hatchet job.
Thank you for your patience and support.
Ya'll come now, ya'hear!
Thank you for your patience and support.
Ya'll come now, ya'hear!
This is Inga from Sweeden
It is funny that I found myself checking my Facebook on my phone while out at a club on Friday night. Kinda sad actually, when you think about it. But checking my Facebook led to an interesting night.
An old friend from college had posted a status update bemoaning her male friends who couldn't be satisfied with just being friends and wanting to know why. My reply was for her to call me. I posted my reply and sat back with my drink, watched the "dancers" and listened to the music just like any other Friday night.
About 1:30am my phone rang from a long distance number. I didn't really look at the number before I answered and headed out the door to be able to hear... "This is Inga, from Sweden." That began an odd exchange about guys and friends and how do I know you and... well a bunch of "ands."
Then it hit me - well then it sunk into my slightly buzzed head. "Bean, is that you?" My friend, who lives in San Fransisco now, had taken me up on my post and called. I haven't heard from Bean in 16 or 17 years and so began the catching up. We talked about everything from her ex-husband to old rommies. When I noticed everyone leaving the bar I asked to call her back, so I could go close my tab.
We talked till I went to bed about 5am. She told me I need to move to San Fran or at least visit. I will visit as soon as I can. But it was good to hear her voice again after all these years... I think though I will have to start calling her Inga though - I think it would be funny calling a girl from India, living in San Fransisco, a name from Sweden.
An old friend from college had posted a status update bemoaning her male friends who couldn't be satisfied with just being friends and wanting to know why. My reply was for her to call me. I posted my reply and sat back with my drink, watched the "dancers" and listened to the music just like any other Friday night.
About 1:30am my phone rang from a long distance number. I didn't really look at the number before I answered and headed out the door to be able to hear... "This is Inga, from Sweden." That began an odd exchange about guys and friends and how do I know you and... well a bunch of "ands."
Then it hit me - well then it sunk into my slightly buzzed head. "Bean, is that you?" My friend, who lives in San Fransisco now, had taken me up on my post and called. I haven't heard from Bean in 16 or 17 years and so began the catching up. We talked about everything from her ex-husband to old rommies. When I noticed everyone leaving the bar I asked to call her back, so I could go close my tab.
We talked till I went to bed about 5am. She told me I need to move to San Fran or at least visit. I will visit as soon as I can. But it was good to hear her voice again after all these years... I think though I will have to start calling her Inga though - I think it would be funny calling a girl from India, living in San Fransisco, a name from Sweden.
Friday, October 9, 2009
It was bound to happen...
I had a good track record until last night/this morning...
Last year for my 39th birthday, my girlfriend - now Ex :( - gave me the best present. I'm not referring to the birthday itself or any activities but the present she gave me almost a month late. She gave me a Mr Coffee with delayed brewing. I know that doesn't sound too exciting but I consider it one of the best presents I have ever gotten for my birthday. Till then I was brewing coffee using an old tin camp coffee pot that required me to heat the water separately then pour in to brew.
The delay brew has been a life/time savor for me. I set it before I go to bed and have fresh hot coffee when I get up. In my recent bouts with insomnia this has been very handy as I haven't been getting up in time to stop and brew coffee when I finally get out of bed... now it is just there for me waiting.
Last night I set the delay and went to bed as usual (earlier than normally actually). I slept well, YEAH!!!! I got up, went to the kitchen and there on the floor was a pool of coffee. Actually it took me a minute to realize it was coffee. After looking at it, the dishwasher, the sink and then the coffee maker itself I realized what happened. I had forgotten to empty and wash out the coffee decanter last night when I set the coffee maker up. Apparently the system doesn't recognize when the decanter is full and the fresh brewed coffee escaped to the counter and then the floor since it had no where else to go. So, this morning was spent cleaning the kitchen counter and floor before breakfast. It could have been worse - the coffee could have run off the other side of the counter onto the carpet!
I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.
Last year for my 39th birthday, my girlfriend - now Ex :( - gave me the best present. I'm not referring to the birthday itself or any activities but the present she gave me almost a month late. She gave me a Mr Coffee with delayed brewing. I know that doesn't sound too exciting but I consider it one of the best presents I have ever gotten for my birthday. Till then I was brewing coffee using an old tin camp coffee pot that required me to heat the water separately then pour in to brew.
The delay brew has been a life/time savor for me. I set it before I go to bed and have fresh hot coffee when I get up. In my recent bouts with insomnia this has been very handy as I haven't been getting up in time to stop and brew coffee when I finally get out of bed... now it is just there for me waiting.
Last night I set the delay and went to bed as usual (earlier than normally actually). I slept well, YEAH!!!! I got up, went to the kitchen and there on the floor was a pool of coffee. Actually it took me a minute to realize it was coffee. After looking at it, the dishwasher, the sink and then the coffee maker itself I realized what happened. I had forgotten to empty and wash out the coffee decanter last night when I set the coffee maker up. Apparently the system doesn't recognize when the decanter is full and the fresh brewed coffee escaped to the counter and then the floor since it had no where else to go. So, this morning was spent cleaning the kitchen counter and floor before breakfast. It could have been worse - the coffee could have run off the other side of the counter onto the carpet!
I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Blog Hopping
I think I am endanger of trying to follow too many blogs at once, if that is possible. Every blog I go to seems to lead me to another and then another... while I don't click to follow everyone I seem to add one or two new blogs to follow each day.
I hope I don't get to the point that I have more to read than time to write...
I hope I don't get to the point that I have more to read than time to write...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
A Public Service Announcement
Imagine you are standing side by side with your brothers, sisters, cousins and friends watching as a large machine rolls over your family chewing them up and spitting them out the back as you scream for mercy... only to realize no one can hear you, no one understands.
Sounds horrible but it happens every day as farmers across the country harvest fields of grain, corn and other defenseless edible plants. These plants have done nothing to us and yet we thoughtlessly slaughter them.
Who will speak for these living plants... P.E.T.E.P. People for the Ethical Treatment of Edible Plants.
***Note: I wish I could take credit for this "Group" but it is the brainchild of a wonderful blogger, Hillbilly Duhn. Here is the story: P.E.T.E.P. (on a more serious note)
Sounds horrible but it happens every day as farmers across the country harvest fields of grain, corn and other defenseless edible plants. These plants have done nothing to us and yet we thoughtlessly slaughter them.
Who will speak for these living plants... P.E.T.E.P. People for the Ethical Treatment of Edible Plants.
***Note: I wish I could take credit for this "Group" but it is the brainchild of a wonderful blogger, Hillbilly Duhn. Here is the story: P.E.T.E.P. (on a more serious note)
Focus
I have been reading the blogs I follow and some new ones over the past few days, but not posting anything myself. The reason is focus. I have been suffering from insomnia for a little over a month now and have had difficulty focusing my thoughts. When I find a topic I want to share, and try a to develop it in my head, I find it going off in unusual and undesired directions. In the end I scrap the idea or file it away in that part of my mind that will forget it is there till some external sight, sound, smell or experience pulls it back front and center.
One thing I am trying to avoid is brooding over my social life. But my mind almost always wanders back to it no matter what subject I want to start. I will get around this either with some sleep, which I know will come eventually, or with a topic that overpowers my self-absorbed need to gripe and moan about my single man's mid-life crises (actually, I am trying to come up with a thought provoking and hopefully humorous blog about that...)
So, for now, I must leave you with this - Thank you for reading my posts and for your comments. I hope to have better material for you soon!
One thing I am trying to avoid is brooding over my social life. But my mind almost always wanders back to it no matter what subject I want to start. I will get around this either with some sleep, which I know will come eventually, or with a topic that overpowers my self-absorbed need to gripe and moan about my single man's mid-life crises (actually, I am trying to come up with a thought provoking and hopefully humorous blog about that...)
So, for now, I must leave you with this - Thank you for reading my posts and for your comments. I hope to have better material for you soon!
Monday, September 28, 2009
And the winner is...
I went to a wedding this weekend. I almost missed it due to everyone wanting me to be there but forgetting to tell me the actual date and time - funny how those little details can slip people's minds. But I made it, I took some pictures and I even went out later that night with the bride and groom. We had fun! But that isn't the story here. And I am not going to go into the little things that struck me at the wedding, no the story is...
For the first time in just shy of 20 years, I didn't catch the garter! Not all the weddings I have been to have had the garter toss but until this one I was the one to catch it if they did. I used to have a little collection of them going but have managed to lose them throughout the years. Now, if you believe the tradition then I should have been married many times over. Alas, I am still single. Too bad Mythbusters doesn't do a show on that little myth/tradition.
For the first time in just shy of 20 years, I didn't catch the garter! Not all the weddings I have been to have had the garter toss but until this one I was the one to catch it if they did. I used to have a little collection of them going but have managed to lose them throughout the years. Now, if you believe the tradition then I should have been married many times over. Alas, I am still single. Too bad Mythbusters doesn't do a show on that little myth/tradition.
Do you really want to know?
This morning, on the radio, Jeff Spiller used his daily "Perceptions" to tell a story of a young lawyer who was drawn into conversation by asking the simple question "How are you?" The man he asked gave an honest answer and the young lawyer took the time to listen to the man's story. I am not going into that story here but musing on a point: How often do we ask that same question without really caring to get an honest answer? How many times do we answer that question with a dishonest answer because we think the person doesn't really want to know the truth?
I have asked and been asked that question so many times I wouldn't care to try and count. Yet, I can't say that I have ever encountered anyone who really wanted to know and who would be willing to sit and listen when things are bad. And I mean listen, not give advice, not offer platitudes of life and love, really listen. I won't say that every time I ask, I am hoping for a honest response, but I hope that if it is given I would be willing to listen.
As for my answer, I tend to give the expected, "Good," "Well" or some variation of a positive response to both let the person off the hook or not show how much I am hurting, confused or just out of it I am.
I have asked and been asked that question so many times I wouldn't care to try and count. Yet, I can't say that I have ever encountered anyone who really wanted to know and who would be willing to sit and listen when things are bad. And I mean listen, not give advice, not offer platitudes of life and love, really listen. I won't say that every time I ask, I am hoping for a honest response, but I hope that if it is given I would be willing to listen.
As for my answer, I tend to give the expected, "Good," "Well" or some variation of a positive response to both let the person off the hook or not show how much I am hurting, confused or just out of it I am.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
A New Addiction
For years I have read and heard news reports about blogging. I've even noticed that Google's news page contained many blog posts to relate news stories, but I stayed clear. If a news story was a blog, I was less likely to give it credit as a news story and more likely to assume it was an expression of a persons point of view on a real story. I can't say that my opinion of news blogs has changed but my opinion of blogging in general has.
Blogs have become a new addiction for me. I think about things I want to say and can't wait to see what others have posted. I follow links from one profile to another looking for new and interesting s bloggers to follow. I spend almost as much time here on Blogger as any other site (except Facebook - but that is another story). I love to read what others have to say. I have started following several bloggers after reading only one post. And while there have been some that I have seemed to lose interest in, I haven't stopped following them - hoping that they will post something that will draw me back to them.
Blogs have become a new addiction for me. I think about things I want to say and can't wait to see what others have posted. I follow links from one profile to another looking for new and interesting s bloggers to follow. I spend almost as much time here on Blogger as any other site (except Facebook - but that is another story). I love to read what others have to say. I have started following several bloggers after reading only one post. And while there have been some that I have seemed to lose interest in, I haven't stopped following them - hoping that they will post something that will draw me back to them.
Monday, September 21, 2009
A view of love
The ideal of love all to often clashes with it's reality. Love is not some perfection in itself but a perfection to strive for. It requires work. Sometimes there will be laughter, sometimes tears, there will be good times and bad, pleasure and pain, with times of surety and periods of uncertainty. Love is a growing thing in reality. It has a life of it's own. You can read all the love quotes in the world and know only that what is said or written is only a small part of the whole and is based on the current experience of the author. Love defies even this feeble attempt to define it.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Much ado...
It is funny to think that I started this blog because I wanted to start writing again and I keep having these, what I think, are wonderful or noteworthy thoughts, and now that I have opened a venue to express those ideas... poof! They are gone.
And so I think I should have named my blog "Much Ado About Nothing." I think writing is a habit you develop that somehow transforms into art with the right combination of skill, vision and theme. Not everyone can pull it off (and I group myself in the not everyone) but some people seem to be able to take the simplest topic or idea and grab you with it. They leave you wanting more, more of their opinion, their view, their wit... more of them. When you write, you put yourself on the page for people to see. The best writers leave you wanting more, not more story but more of the writer.
And so I think I should have named my blog "Much Ado About Nothing." I think writing is a habit you develop that somehow transforms into art with the right combination of skill, vision and theme. Not everyone can pull it off (and I group myself in the not everyone) but some people seem to be able to take the simplest topic or idea and grab you with it. They leave you wanting more, more of their opinion, their view, their wit... more of them. When you write, you put yourself on the page for people to see. The best writers leave you wanting more, not more story but more of the writer.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Yellow Rose
I haven't really had much to say lately or time to say it but I did run across this story I wrote in high school that I wanted to share... enjoy
Golden rays float across the early morning sky. The light song of birds drifts through the air. And the only one awake in the whole world is Keith, at least he pictures himself such. he walks along the garden path, absorbing the soft visions around him. The red dew-laden roses with their barbed stems and white lilies in their small mirror surfaced ponds. At the end of the path he finds the entrance to his secret sanctuary. He crawls on his hands and knees under the blooming azalea bush into a tiny grotto with a single yellow rose, like the statue of Venus, pointing into the sun streaked heavens.
Keith stops at the flower and savors the sweet smell. He drifts into a silent limbo of thought. He remembers his foolish childhood fantasies of becoming a superhero, detective or superstar actor/singer. He recalls all his one-sided loves and the pain of not sharing his feelings. he thinks about his present infatuation, his love for Linda and his inability to express his love with her.
He examines the rose and draws forth the memory of the first he happened upon this hidden treasure. He was walking along the garden path alone one afternoon when he dropped the piece of paper he had been carrying. He looked on as the wind carried the slip of paper over the bushes. He crawled under the azaleas and was transported to his own Eden.
Since the discovery of the sanctuary he visited the garden every day - his little meditation chamber of nature. Whenever a problem arose that overwhelmed him he escaped to the seclusion of the rose.
Looking at the rose, he sees Linda. Timeless beauty shines from the peddles like the soft glow of her skin - a picture of perfection preserved in a world of its' own. A world he can enter but never seem to become a part of. A tear drifts from his face and bounces on the light peddles floating in a suspended fall to the ground. He tuns and walks away.
For a week he stays away from his Eden, dreaming about the peace he would feel if he could expose his emotions to Linda and that she would accept his love. But he only dreams.
When at last he returns to the garden, he finds an addition to his garden. A new red rose has pushed itself up through the ground to rest next to the yellow beauty. The red and yellow stand together, a pair, in a world of their own - a piece that none can ever shatter.
The Yellow Rose
Golden rays float across the early morning sky. The light song of birds drifts through the air. And the only one awake in the whole world is Keith, at least he pictures himself such. he walks along the garden path, absorbing the soft visions around him. The red dew-laden roses with their barbed stems and white lilies in their small mirror surfaced ponds. At the end of the path he finds the entrance to his secret sanctuary. He crawls on his hands and knees under the blooming azalea bush into a tiny grotto with a single yellow rose, like the statue of Venus, pointing into the sun streaked heavens.
Keith stops at the flower and savors the sweet smell. He drifts into a silent limbo of thought. He remembers his foolish childhood fantasies of becoming a superhero, detective or superstar actor/singer. He recalls all his one-sided loves and the pain of not sharing his feelings. he thinks about his present infatuation, his love for Linda and his inability to express his love with her.
He examines the rose and draws forth the memory of the first he happened upon this hidden treasure. He was walking along the garden path alone one afternoon when he dropped the piece of paper he had been carrying. He looked on as the wind carried the slip of paper over the bushes. He crawled under the azaleas and was transported to his own Eden.
Since the discovery of the sanctuary he visited the garden every day - his little meditation chamber of nature. Whenever a problem arose that overwhelmed him he escaped to the seclusion of the rose.
Looking at the rose, he sees Linda. Timeless beauty shines from the peddles like the soft glow of her skin - a picture of perfection preserved in a world of its' own. A world he can enter but never seem to become a part of. A tear drifts from his face and bounces on the light peddles floating in a suspended fall to the ground. He tuns and walks away.
For a week he stays away from his Eden, dreaming about the peace he would feel if he could expose his emotions to Linda and that she would accept his love. But he only dreams.
When at last he returns to the garden, he finds an addition to his garden. A new red rose has pushed itself up through the ground to rest next to the yellow beauty. The red and yellow stand together, a pair, in a world of their own - a piece that none can ever shatter.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Love and Other Disasters random thoughts... 1 year later
ORIGINALLY WRITTEN 1 YEAR AGO:
It is amazing how falling in love and losing out can take the color and taste out of life. I've gone numb.
How is it that so many people say such great things about me and how "...it'll happen for you. She just wasn't the one..." and yet here I am again alone.
I think that I have really fallen in love maybe three times my whole life...
The first time was in College. I met this wonderful girl in Dr. Roundtree's Ballads of Briton and America class. We where both freshman and I asked her out for my birthday. We walked around campus together daily, we went out a couple of more times and when I went to North Carolina to work at a boy's camp we wrote each other. Sometime in the summer the letters stopped coming. She was the first person I called when I got home. I told her I was back and she said "So."
I still remember seeing her wedding announcement in the paper and running into her and her husband at the fair. Kansas' Point of Know Return was playing.
I dated off and on for a bit then went through a long dry spell. I gave up looking when I met one girl I wanted to go out with so bad it hurt. She was dating a guy when I met her who treated her like she was just a piece of bling to show off. When they broke up I was there for her as a friend to try and cheer her up. I waited to ask her out because she was crushed by the break up and I wanted to give her time. I still recall the night I had made up my mind to ask her out. I was going to Picklefish downtown to try and find her. I found her... on a date. The bartender, Becky, knew I wanted to go out with her and told me that the only reason she was on the date was because this girl had a girlfriend who wanted to go on a double date. Seems the girlfriend wouldn't go out unless they doubled. Becky assured me there was nothing to the date, she and the guy where just friends, there was nothing there and he wasn't even her type... The last I heard they had moved in together and where getting married. I haven't seen either one since.
Back in 2006 I met my second love. We dated for a short time before she went into the military. When she came back from basic she had a lot going on with family friends and injuries. I blew it with her. I can't say when things started to fall apart but I know when I made the final mistake. I listened to my friends on New Years Eve telling me how this girl should have been out with me and/or should have invited me to go out wit her... I got messed up the made the 15minute call to her answering machine that was the end of it all. I told her repeatedly how much I loved her and that was the last thing she needed to hear.
She started dating and then married a very nice guy from New York state.
Last year I ran into a girl I went to school with. She was seeing a guy I knew from around. She broke things off with him and we started dating. I was so afraid I would do something stupid and blow it. I so wanted to be everything for her - She was (and at least now in my heart is) everything to me. I don't really know what to say at this point. There are so many things I could say that just don't seem right. It's to soon for me to really say more. I just wish I could try again. I wish I knew how to do it over and do it right.
I am not so selfish as to say if I can't have someone then, screw them. When I fall in love it is love. I want nothing but the best for them and I want them to be happy. If I could harbor ill thoughts about them then it just isn't love. But I wish someone could be happy with me.
I can't help but feel that there must be something about me that... well makes me terminally single.
REPLIES TO ORIGINAL POST:
ONE YEAR LATER:
I have found myself thinking through a lot this year and wondering about me. I have spent most of my life, it seems, trying to be there for everyone else and not paying a lot of attention to my own wants and needs. I still find it easier to try and be there for friends than trying to work out my own issues. When I think of my own issues I tend to get moody, irritable and bitter. This is an issue I know I need to work on before I can get to the heart of me.
Some things that I see (real or imagined):
It is amazing how falling in love and losing out can take the color and taste out of life. I've gone numb.
How is it that so many people say such great things about me and how "...it'll happen for you. She just wasn't the one..." and yet here I am again alone.
I think that I have really fallen in love maybe three times my whole life...
The first time was in College. I met this wonderful girl in Dr. Roundtree's Ballads of Briton and America class. We where both freshman and I asked her out for my birthday. We walked around campus together daily, we went out a couple of more times and when I went to North Carolina to work at a boy's camp we wrote each other. Sometime in the summer the letters stopped coming. She was the first person I called when I got home. I told her I was back and she said "So."
I still remember seeing her wedding announcement in the paper and running into her and her husband at the fair. Kansas' Point of Know Return was playing.
I dated off and on for a bit then went through a long dry spell. I gave up looking when I met one girl I wanted to go out with so bad it hurt. She was dating a guy when I met her who treated her like she was just a piece of bling to show off. When they broke up I was there for her as a friend to try and cheer her up. I waited to ask her out because she was crushed by the break up and I wanted to give her time. I still recall the night I had made up my mind to ask her out. I was going to Picklefish downtown to try and find her. I found her... on a date. The bartender, Becky, knew I wanted to go out with her and told me that the only reason she was on the date was because this girl had a girlfriend who wanted to go on a double date. Seems the girlfriend wouldn't go out unless they doubled. Becky assured me there was nothing to the date, she and the guy where just friends, there was nothing there and he wasn't even her type... The last I heard they had moved in together and where getting married. I haven't seen either one since.
Back in 2006 I met my second love. We dated for a short time before she went into the military. When she came back from basic she had a lot going on with family friends and injuries. I blew it with her. I can't say when things started to fall apart but I know when I made the final mistake. I listened to my friends on New Years Eve telling me how this girl should have been out with me and/or should have invited me to go out wit her... I got messed up the made the 15minute call to her answering machine that was the end of it all. I told her repeatedly how much I loved her and that was the last thing she needed to hear.
She started dating and then married a very nice guy from New York state.
Last year I ran into a girl I went to school with. She was seeing a guy I knew from around. She broke things off with him and we started dating. I was so afraid I would do something stupid and blow it. I so wanted to be everything for her - She was (and at least now in my heart is) everything to me. I don't really know what to say at this point. There are so many things I could say that just don't seem right. It's to soon for me to really say more. I just wish I could try again. I wish I knew how to do it over and do it right.
I am not so selfish as to say if I can't have someone then, screw them. When I fall in love it is love. I want nothing but the best for them and I want them to be happy. If I could harbor ill thoughts about them then it just isn't love. But I wish someone could be happy with me.
I can't help but feel that there must be something about me that... well makes me terminally single.
REPLIES TO ORIGINAL POST:
| Eva |
| |
| D BEST |
| ||
| TINA |
|
ONE YEAR LATER:
I have found myself thinking through a lot this year and wondering about me. I have spent most of my life, it seems, trying to be there for everyone else and not paying a lot of attention to my own wants and needs. I still find it easier to try and be there for friends than trying to work out my own issues. When I think of my own issues I tend to get moody, irritable and bitter. This is an issue I know I need to work on before I can get to the heart of me.
Some things that I see (real or imagined):
I have little dating experience and as such find it hard to read situations and know how to react. Guys aren't born knowing what to do. They have to learn it through experience or through people working with them when they make mistakes. I have not had a wealth of experience to work from. And, no one I have gone out with has been willing to point out my mistakes.
I tend to get too down on myself about what I see as my short-comings.
I know that I am not now, nor ever likely to be a player. I don't have the, what I see as, sociopathic personality that can be that unconcerned about another's feelings. Besides, I've never been good at picking up women anyway - I think I missed that class in school.
I know that I want someone to spend the rest of my life with, to have a family with (or at least be a part of their family) but I am not willing to settle for someone that I am not attracted to or truly in love with. I have spent the better part of my life single because I am not willing to settle for something I don't feel is right. I did that in college and ended up hurting the girl I was with because I was going out with her to be dating someone and not because I was interested in her. I will not do that again.
I think that I am a good friend who will always be there when a friend needs me.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Bad Day Tees
Years ago, when I was in college and doing odd jobs for extra money, I signed up to be a substitute teacher. I wasn't interested in working just anywhere though, I worked at my old high school. My mother was a teacher there and I knew the staff and faculty, so I knew I would fit in. One thing about being a sub is that you have to get up early to be on time. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON - in general.
One morning, one of the office staff cheerfully greeted me with the traditional, "Good Morning Mike!" Without even thinking about it I replied, "If it where meant to be good, they wouldn't call it morning." That little saying stuck in my mind and I have been known to say it often in reply to someone saying Good Morning.
A few years back a friend of mine suggested I take that saying and put it on a t-shirt. I thought about it but was not sure how to do it. Recently I started referring to the work week as just different versions of Monday (Monday 1.0, Monday 2.o aka Tuesday...). Again, a friend suggested I put this on a t-shirt. I have done it! I opened a shop at Cafe Press called Bad Day Tees and bought the baddaytees.com domain to help promote my shop. If nothing else I have had fun adding products to the site and getting suggestions from friends about new sayings and items to add.
For anyone who reads this I would love to get your input and suggestions. Please browse the shop and tell me what you think. Is there some saying you always thought would look good on a t-shirt, mug, mouse pad or, dare I say it, underwear?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
AdSense has a sense of humor
I was checking my blog earlier today and got a good laugh out of one of the AdSense ads. Right in the middle of ads for dating sites and chat lines was an ad for a dating site for people with Herpes. I kid you not, a dating site for people with Herpes. I guess there really is a site for everyone on the web.
Monday, August 31, 2009
How can you be sure
In a recent post from What Could I Really Say?, atypicalheroine made a very profound statement based on a conversation she had years ago:
We live in a world where the things that seem to attract are the superficial and transitory. A man's wealth is not a sure thing. Riches come and go and if love is based on wealth and value on what a man can give, other than his body, soul and love, then that love is doomed. If a woman falls for a man's wealth and not with the man, he is being used.
But I am not sure that it is always the case that a woman consciously goes for wealth. I believe, too often, it is the sense of security that wealth represents. And I ask you, what happens when the bottom drops out of the man's wealth? Will she still love him or will she realize that all she loved was his money?
The same could be said of beauty. Beauty can be marred and damaged. Physical beauty fades with age. The man that falls for physical beauty and doesn't see beyond it will lose interest if that beauty fails or when it fades.
True attraction cannot take into account things that are not guaranteed - love, respect, admiration, loyalty and friendship. These are the only things that can be counted on when love is real. If you find that you are looking for more, you are losing out on the only things you can count on.
When I was in my teens, my older best friend told me she wished she was beautiful like me, because I'd always have the admiration of men. I responded, that a beautiful woman no more knows if she's loved than a wealthy man.While I cannot relate to either the beautiful woman or the wealthy man, I can wonder about the wealthy man and how he would know he was loved.
We live in a world where the things that seem to attract are the superficial and transitory. A man's wealth is not a sure thing. Riches come and go and if love is based on wealth and value on what a man can give, other than his body, soul and love, then that love is doomed. If a woman falls for a man's wealth and not with the man, he is being used.
But I am not sure that it is always the case that a woman consciously goes for wealth. I believe, too often, it is the sense of security that wealth represents. And I ask you, what happens when the bottom drops out of the man's wealth? Will she still love him or will she realize that all she loved was his money?
The same could be said of beauty. Beauty can be marred and damaged. Physical beauty fades with age. The man that falls for physical beauty and doesn't see beyond it will lose interest if that beauty fails or when it fades.
True attraction cannot take into account things that are not guaranteed - love, respect, admiration, loyalty and friendship. These are the only things that can be counted on when love is real. If you find that you are looking for more, you are losing out on the only things you can count on.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Will being me ever be enough?
Will being me ever be enough? Sounds like a dumb question. But is it?
NOTE: this is going to be a bit of a down blog post!
It's been almost a year since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me, saying it wasn't me but her. And yet I'm the one who feels like a loser. I'm the one who feels like I didn't do enough and really have no idea what to do.
I have never had anyone break up with me because I did something wrong, I just haven't ever been enough. And apparently I am so much not enough that no one has been willing to give me a second chance. To be honest most women haven't been willing to give me a first chance. On that I can't complain too much because I am very picky and haven't really considered dating someone just to have someone to go out with. If I am not interested in someone then I'm not going on a date with them. At least that is how I have been. Maybe I should change that but I think that I am getting too old to change my ways.
The only reason I bring this up is that my ex (who I must admit, I am still in love with) can still set my mood for the day without realizing it. Today it was a MySpace status that quoted Einstein: "The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive." There was a bit more that she added about the guy she is dating now but this quote made me think. What is a guy to do when he doesn't have a lot to give other than himself? I am not rich, I don't own a lot and with my limited dating experience (even at 40 years old) I don't really know what to do or how to do it when it comes to a woman's wants and needs. It isn't that I don't want to do things and give things and be there, it is that I either don't have it to give or don't know to read the signs of what I should do. With my ex I want(ed) to give her the world. I would die for her. I gave her my heart. But that apparently isn't enough.
I know that people say there are plenty of fish in the sea but I feel like I am fishing with the wrong bait. Apparently I am not the right bait.
So I ask: Will being me ever be enough?
NOTE: this is going to be a bit of a down blog post!
It's been almost a year since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me, saying it wasn't me but her. And yet I'm the one who feels like a loser. I'm the one who feels like I didn't do enough and really have no idea what to do.
I have never had anyone break up with me because I did something wrong, I just haven't ever been enough. And apparently I am so much not enough that no one has been willing to give me a second chance. To be honest most women haven't been willing to give me a first chance. On that I can't complain too much because I am very picky and haven't really considered dating someone just to have someone to go out with. If I am not interested in someone then I'm not going on a date with them. At least that is how I have been. Maybe I should change that but I think that I am getting too old to change my ways.
The only reason I bring this up is that my ex (who I must admit, I am still in love with) can still set my mood for the day without realizing it. Today it was a MySpace status that quoted Einstein: "The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive." There was a bit more that she added about the guy she is dating now but this quote made me think. What is a guy to do when he doesn't have a lot to give other than himself? I am not rich, I don't own a lot and with my limited dating experience (even at 40 years old) I don't really know what to do or how to do it when it comes to a woman's wants and needs. It isn't that I don't want to do things and give things and be there, it is that I either don't have it to give or don't know to read the signs of what I should do. With my ex I want(ed) to give her the world. I would die for her. I gave her my heart. But that apparently isn't enough.
I know that people say there are plenty of fish in the sea but I feel like I am fishing with the wrong bait. Apparently I am not the right bait.
So I ask: Will being me ever be enough?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Happy Couples Annoy Me
I used to say, with little humor, that "Happy couples annoy me." And, at the time, I know I didn't really know why. Why should seeing a couple holding hands as they walk down the street get under my skin? What upset me about seeing a couple sitting together, flirting and laughing? And how could any one not enjoy seeing others finding happiness in each others arms? I know the answer now and it surprised me to realize it.
Yesterday, as I was driving home, I started thinking about it. I was sitting at a stop light, looked into the car next to me and it just hit me. There was a couple riding along talking and laughing and I remembered what it was like, what it was like to hold hands while driving, talking about what we where going to do, where we would go. It isn't so much that the happy couples annoy me as they make me realize what I lost.
Before it was just some vague annoyance without reason. I didn't know why because I was missing something I never had. Since last year that changed. Now I know what it is that annoys me and it isn't the Happy couples of the world. It is the loneliness I feel when I see them and know that I am going home to an empty apartment, single meal and no one to call my own (I do hate that phrase, but it fits).
But I know that I will continue to say "Happy couples annoy me," even though I now know why. Because it amuses me to say it. And the single life is what I will have to deal with until I either get over the love I had last year or learn to settle for what is left out there.
Yesterday, as I was driving home, I started thinking about it. I was sitting at a stop light, looked into the car next to me and it just hit me. There was a couple riding along talking and laughing and I remembered what it was like, what it was like to hold hands while driving, talking about what we where going to do, where we would go. It isn't so much that the happy couples annoy me as they make me realize what I lost.
Before it was just some vague annoyance without reason. I didn't know why because I was missing something I never had. Since last year that changed. Now I know what it is that annoys me and it isn't the Happy couples of the world. It is the loneliness I feel when I see them and know that I am going home to an empty apartment, single meal and no one to call my own (I do hate that phrase, but it fits).
But I know that I will continue to say "Happy couples annoy me," even though I now know why. Because it amuses me to say it. And the single life is what I will have to deal with until I either get over the love I had last year or learn to settle for what is left out there.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Internal Debates
I don't know if it is just me or if there are others out there who do this. I find myself forming arguments and working out exactly what I want to say to someone before I talk to them to be sure I have it down word for word. Then I turn around and rationalize exactly why I shouldn't say what I really want to. Often it is because I am more concerned with their feelings than my own, sometimes I just don't feel it is fair to them for me to pressure them but for the most part I am afraid of losing a friend because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.
It really is odd at times to find myself holding these conversations in my head (often one sided conversations). It gets even more odd when I start talking out loud to myself. I wish at times I could say what I want to the people in question but I over think their feelings, responses and/or reactions and I just keep my mouth shut. Life has taught me that when I say what's on my mind it just drives people away and I don't want that to happen anymore.
Life isn't like the movies where the hero can say what he feels and win out in the end. The best example of this, to me, is from When Harry met Sally. Harry rushes to a New Years Eve party and opens his heart to Sally:
Now to be honest I do this for any relationship, friend, lover or other. I have in my mind questioned things and almost never said them aloud. If I do end up saying things it tends to be blunt straightforward statements that do not go into the details that are running through my head. I even hold debates about myself and how I am acting or reacting to situations.
So I pose a question to you all: Am I the only one who does this?
It really is odd at times to find myself holding these conversations in my head (often one sided conversations). It gets even more odd when I start talking out loud to myself. I wish at times I could say what I want to the people in question but I over think their feelings, responses and/or reactions and I just keep my mouth shut. Life has taught me that when I say what's on my mind it just drives people away and I don't want that to happen anymore.
Life isn't like the movies where the hero can say what he feels and win out in the end. The best example of this, to me, is from When Harry met Sally. Harry rushes to a New Years Eve party and opens his heart to Sally:
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: See Harry you say these things and it makes it impossible for me to hate you. And I hate you Harry....I really do.
Sally's response may lead you to think his confession was a failure but it wasn't. In the end he gets the girl. But then again life isn't a movie and the good guy doesn't always win. So, for me, I think it is best that I keep quiet and hope that, if I am thinking it, others are thinking it and things will work out.Now to be honest I do this for any relationship, friend, lover or other. I have in my mind questioned things and almost never said them aloud. If I do end up saying things it tends to be blunt straightforward statements that do not go into the details that are running through my head. I even hold debates about myself and how I am acting or reacting to situations.
So I pose a question to you all: Am I the only one who does this?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Beginning...
When I was in High School, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I started college with the express purpose of writing for a living. I majored in English, minored in communications and kept notebooks with my thoughts and ideas. Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked. I got discouraged in my writing because I saw so many people around me that I thought had more talent. I let the dream of being a writer fade and have really just drifted through life ever since.
I have worked so many different jobs and gone back to school for other degrees, some completed others not, and find myself inching back to a dream that never really died. I have no illusions that I will be writing any groundbreaking or award winning material. I have no clear goal in what I plan on writing here. What I do know is that I plan to write.
The casual observer is just what it sounds like. I am not some great mind who will focus on a topic and devote all my time to it. I will more often than not simply express my off the cuff observations on things that grab my attention. Expect me to be bitter, sarcastic, hopefully funny at times and, I hope, entertaining. I am not wanting to set myself up as some expert on a given subject but more a, well, Casual Observer who feels the need to express my personal opinion. I do not intentionally speak for others. But, I suspect, like any other writer I hope that what I have to say will speak to someone and maybe allow them to say, "That's what I'm talking about!" Then again maybe my ramblings will make others laugh. That will be just as satisfying.
It is my intention to post often, if for no other reason than to get back in the habit of writing. I value any readers opinion, even if I do not respond to it. I am not likely to edit myself here. Once I have started writing with more frequency, or on subjects that I am truly wanting to say something, then I will be more likely to review what I have written. Till then this will be more of a free writing experience.
If you decide to follow my blogs I hope you will not be disappointed. I look forward to telling you what is on my mind and do hope you enjoy it.
Mike
I have worked so many different jobs and gone back to school for other degrees, some completed others not, and find myself inching back to a dream that never really died. I have no illusions that I will be writing any groundbreaking or award winning material. I have no clear goal in what I plan on writing here. What I do know is that I plan to write.
The casual observer is just what it sounds like. I am not some great mind who will focus on a topic and devote all my time to it. I will more often than not simply express my off the cuff observations on things that grab my attention. Expect me to be bitter, sarcastic, hopefully funny at times and, I hope, entertaining. I am not wanting to set myself up as some expert on a given subject but more a, well, Casual Observer who feels the need to express my personal opinion. I do not intentionally speak for others. But, I suspect, like any other writer I hope that what I have to say will speak to someone and maybe allow them to say, "That's what I'm talking about!" Then again maybe my ramblings will make others laugh. That will be just as satisfying.
It is my intention to post often, if for no other reason than to get back in the habit of writing. I value any readers opinion, even if I do not respond to it. I am not likely to edit myself here. Once I have started writing with more frequency, or on subjects that I am truly wanting to say something, then I will be more likely to review what I have written. Till then this will be more of a free writing experience.
If you decide to follow my blogs I hope you will not be disappointed. I look forward to telling you what is on my mind and do hope you enjoy it.
Mike
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