Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Happy Couples Annoy Me

I used to say, with little humor, that "Happy couples annoy me." And, at the time, I know I didn't really know why. Why should seeing a couple holding hands as they walk down the street get under my skin? What upset me about seeing a couple sitting together, flirting and laughing? And how could any one not enjoy seeing others finding happiness in each others arms? I know the answer now and it surprised me to realize it.

Yesterday, as I was driving home, I started thinking about it. I was sitting at a stop light, looked into the car next to me and it just hit me. There was a couple riding along talking and laughing and I remembered what it was like, what it was like to hold hands while driving, talking about what we where going to do, where we would go. It isn't so much that the happy couples annoy me as they make me realize what I lost.

Before it was just some vague annoyance without reason. I didn't know why because I was missing something I never had. Since last year that changed. Now I know what it is that annoys me and it isn't the Happy couples of the world. It is the loneliness I feel when I see them and know that I am going home to an empty apartment, single meal and no one to call my own (I do hate that phrase, but it fits).

But I know that I will continue to say "Happy couples annoy me," even though I now know why. Because it amuses me to say it. And the single life is what I will have to deal with until I either get over the love I had last year or learn to settle for what is left out there.

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